January 28, 2024; 2:12 p.m.
— in Turks and Caicos, staring out at cerulean sea & green fruit trees

Delicious food/bevvies:
– Trinidadian spiced samosa with beef, sweet potato, and pea
– Iced lemon tea (sweetened)

Island breeze​— ​
a gentle caress upon 
verdant leaves

One lovely aspect of this ladies’ trip is the fact we don’t have an itinerary—we are simply living, enjoying, relaxing. I love how fully present I can be in conversation, in eating, in sitting and observing the world around me.

Right now, I’m sitting on the outdoor patio of our Airbnb. There is a gentle breeze rousing the surrounding fruit trees to life. It’s as if the island is saying hello—it’s excited we are here to witness its beauty and simplicity and joy.

As I gaze farther, I see the clear teal sea. It’s a color of water I don’t often get to glimpse in person. Transparent turquoise is the color of peace & tranquility. It isn’t in a rush; it merely is. It exists very much in the present moment and is content there.

That is how I want to live. I’ve spent the majority of my life holding the hand of incessant worry. But worry doesn’t offer protection from life’s heartache or pain or shitty days. The only thing worry offers is a false sense of control and a distraction from the present moment.

It’s fear’s fraternal twin—born from the same place but appearing differently.

But I’m tired of fear in any of its forms. I will learn from it when it arrives, but it will not take hold of my soul and grow roots there. It will not have a permanent home in my body.

Rather, I aim to be curious about all that exists in the present. I want to see, taste, smell, touch, and hear all that I can and experience life as a human being (or a being human). Experience creation, stand in awe and wonder because of it.

That sounds delicious.